NDT Session 17: Mouldy? oh doh!

 Int. Gnome Mine, The Wulfwolde Hills.

Cast: Bait, Glimmer, Aengus, Rurik, Xianti.

After spying the silver statuettes, Bait immediately ran forward to grab one. Unfortunately, it tried to bite him and its fellows rose to attack the party. The dozen statues proved to be tough opponents but were eventually smashed. The party gathered up the silver pieces for resale or spell components.

The party continued to explore and found a passageway lined with mould. Despite working out the passageway led to an area they had already been to, they spent some time and effort trying to get rid of the mould. After some Dragonborn breath, torches and one poisoning of Bait they gave up and went back around.

After one final gust of wind cantrip just managed to spread the mould back down the passageway they decided to explore other passages. 

Nearby a debris filled passage stumped the party and it was only when Glimmer kicked the debris in frustration (which required some cosack-style dancing in the cramped tunnel) was a hidden entrance found.

Beyond this were a small group of orcs, which were quickly killed. These seemed to be guarding a less cramped tunnel that the party proceeded to explore. Whether this led to more orcs or spiders remained to be seen.

NDT session 16: A horse called horse

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a horse of course
That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Loshad

Go right to the source and ask the horse

He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse.

He's always on a steady course.Talk to Loshad 

Wulfwolde Hills

The party made their way to the 3rd tomb. This seemed to be a well kept tomb on a lush green hill.

However, once inside the party found a pile of recent skeletons and the door to the tomb slammed shut. After looting the bodies the party found a secret door leading to a rough cavern. A figure emerge from the wall morphing into a hostile living statue of a man with a Jackal head. Bait managed to keep it distracted and it was defeated without much bother to the party. Another secret exit led the party back outside so they went to camp for the night.

A Living Statue about to be killed by some PCs

Glimmer again performed the one leg, whistling under the moon ritual so the next morning the party heard thundering hooves and what appeared to be a centaur appeared accompanied by 3 stallions. This was Loshad, the Horse-Lord. He warmly greets the party’s horses before begrudgingly addressing the ‘pedestrians’. 

Loshad told the party the location of Xitaqa across the river but said they would have to perform a task for him on the way. A strange beast had apparently taken residence at the ford and was upsetting the wild horses. The party were to kill it or drive it away. Bait was disappointed because he had heard whore-sword instead of horse Lord but maybe the party were finally going to be able to find Stephan.

Unfortunately, Xitaqa was the opposite direction to the gnome mine but the party decided it was time to aid Namfoodle and Aengus’s clansmen in their struggle against some orcs

On arriving at the mine it was apparent the situation had worsened. The gnome and dwarf miners had found a  cavern sealed off by a wall of stalagmites and stalactites  but could see a fabulous looking necklace beyond. They had broken through and retrieved the necklace but after that dwarves and one of the gnomes had started going missing from the mine. Some kind of spiders seemed to be the culprits. However, on the plus side the orcs had seemed to have retreated.

The party agreed to help and headed into the caves. They could occasionally hear skittering noises. After dodging a few hazards they found a paralysed orc wrapped in webs. They unwrapped the orc and took it back to the dwarves to guard so they could question it when it woke up. 

The party resumed exploring until they found a chamber containing silver statuettes. Again these depicted people with jackal heads…

To be continued…

DM notes: some of you may have noticed I will be going off script soon… stay tuned for some stupidity.

Oh yes. I accidentally found out via google what Loshad means in Russian. And for the any amongst you who are thinking that Loshad is not a horse, well… he isn’t actually a centaur.

NDT session 15: Too Ghoul For School

Ancient tombs, Wulfwolde Hills, Eastern Karameikos.

Present: Bait, Glimmer, Rurik, Snake

We left the group battling the last remaining shadow on the dark mound but it was quickly dispatched. After a quick rest to (literally) restore their strength the group headed into the tomb. 

A passage led downwards, its walls adorned with frescoes of people with jackal masks. At the bottom was a chamber containing a crystal coffin with a desiccated body holding a jewelled mace. The ever-eager Glimmer opened the coffin whilst Snake studied the frescoes. 

Somewhat predictably the body rose up and tried to attack Glimmer but was quickly dispatched back into the coffin. Glimmer grabbed the mace, closed the coffin up again and after a brief search finding nothing of interest, the party went to leave the tomb.

At that point, the frescoe Snake was examining came crashing down and a hideous undead ghoul emerged. It mauled Snake and paralysed her but the other PC’s quickly dealt with it despite its terrifying appearance.

The party somewhat warily head the the next tomb along. When they crossed the boundary of the scorched earth they found the recent remnants of a terrible battle with many dead bodies. Stepping over these, they entered this tomb. Within the tomb were many bones and broken weapons and from a chamber further in two undead figures appeared. They appeared to be the animated corpses of Elven warriors holding glowing balls  of light.

Rurik had heard of these creatures - Wyrds and tried to entangle them. Despite being slowed down they were able to throw the.maficsl spheres causing much damage. 

The fight was tough, Bait was briefly knocked unconscious before being revived by snake. However, with the use of several spells and magic arrows they were finally defeated. the party found some treasure and decided to return to camp to rest before investigating the final tomb.

DM’s notes: I found a 5e conversion document by someone called G.M. on Vaults of Pandius  which I used for the stats of the Wyrds. They proved to be a good tough fight so I’ll probably be using it for other monsters later on.

NDT session 14: Babushka, Babushka, ya, ya

A battle with a shadow.

 Wolfskull Lair.

Present: Namfoodle, Bait and Glimmer.

The party finished exploring the lair and found some treasure including magic arrows.

Then they took Babushka back to Sukiskyn. Along the way she explained some of the plot and revealed the hobgoblins were looking for a ‘great map’ and there was someone known as ‘ole skinny legs’ at Xitaqa.

The residents of Sukiskyn didn’t know anything about Xitaqa but Stellios and Kuzma suggested they ask the Horse Lord in the hills. He could be summoned near some ancient tombs by standing on one leg and whistling at midnight for 3 nights running.

The party travelled to the tombs with the intention of travelling in to see the gnomes. The tombs turned out to be 3 burial mounds of scorched barren earth. The camped out and at midnight Glimmer did as suggested. The next day the party decided to explore the ruins. After losing a race to the bottom of the mound, Glimmer had to go and lead the party into the first tomb.

 As soon as she stepped onto the mound darkness surrounded her. This was not apparent to those still outside the mound. 

Worse was to follow as 5 shadows emerged and attacked Glimmer draining strength as well as causing significant wounds. A desperate battle followed as the shadows wrecked havoc on the part. However the battle finally started to go the way of the party when Bait turned the undead.

To be continued…

DM notes: I let the party level up after finishing the wolf skull lair, which probably saved them from a near TPK by the shadows, which are nasty.

NDT Session 13: I pity the thouls

 Wolfskull lair

The fight continued. The goblin king hacked at Rurik’s giant snake form causing him to revert to his usual dwarfish self and the fog cloud to dissipate. However, Rurik got his revenge by launching a thunder wave which dispatched most of the kings bodyguards.

Finally, a volley of magic missiles struck the king, killing him. Namfoodle the Magnificent had returned at last! 

Bait did some corpse desecration and the remaining goblins in the lair quickly surrender once they realised the situation they were in. 

However, the party were slightly put out that they only found one prisoner - an old lady with the rather on the nose name of Babushka. The other prisoners have been taken to Xitaqa, wherever that was.

Namfoodle had returned from delivering the messages to his gnome clansmen in the mines to the north saying they were having problems with orcs (something the rest already knew from their talks with the elves).

Aengus and Droop stayed with the old lady whilst the rest of the party explored the area that Bait only knew as the guest quarters. After evading some traps and giant ferrets the group entered a room containing 3 very odd hobgoblins, which move to attack. 

After a dangerous fight the party prevailed and could explore the room.

 DM notes: Namfoodle had been absent for a number of sessions so I decided he had gone off to see the gnomes in the mines whilst the party were wandering around the forest.

I’m considering moving Xitaqa as I think my group are a bit annoyed at having to keep going back and forth.

NDT session 12: More goblins

The Wolfskull lair, Dymrak forest 

As the party were finishing off the fight with the goblin and wolf guards, an old friend appeared - it was Snake/Xianta who had found Aengus and Droop at the entrance to the lair. They helped to finish off the party’s remaining foes in relatively short order.

Snake was slightly confused by there being another friendly goblin (Bait) and was also upset by the death of Aimiir. 

Following Bait’s lead the group decided to confront Kloss, the goblin king in his throne room.

was guarded by a large group of goblins who immediately moved to attack the party. 

A fog cloud shrouds the goblin king’s room 

Bait charged into the fray casting Sanctuary on himself , which disrupted the goblin horde. Rurik cast a fog cloud to confuse matters and then changed into a giant snake w

A number of goblins fell as Kloss himself entered the fray.

To be continued

Things that I like that are actually rubbish: D&D

 Content warning: swears, ranting

So D&D. It’s great. Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson practically invented a hobby with it. And also greatly inspired another hobby - video games. It brings socially awkward people like myself out of their shells. You get to roll lots of funny looking dice. Brilliant.

But it is rubbish. I mean, it’s a bit like shooting a fish in a barrel but let’s get it out of the way.

Your favourite edition of D&D is rubbish. My favourite edition of D&D is rubbish. Our least favourite editions of D&D are rubbish. And that retro-clone over there is rubbish too. And that re-imagining rule set is probably rubbish too.

Armour class: rubbish

Hit points: rubbish

Unarmed combat rules… terrible, utter dog-crap, rubbish

hardly ever getting to use a D12: rubbish.

Loads of mostly identical humanoid monsters except with slightly different hit points: rubbish.

Players books that are mostly just lists of spells and powers you will never use: rubbish.

DM guides that are mostly just a list of magic items you will never use: rubbish.

Let’s face it, the only D&D books that were likely to get the majority of the content used were the old Basic sets covering levels 1-3. And even they had spells nobody ever used - come on how many times have you cast Hold Portal?

Old D&D was rubbish with all it’s fuck you rules - you’ve been poisoned, you’re dead; you’ve been paralysed and you can’t do anything for an hour; you’ve finally gained a level but now you’ve been energy drained, tough shit. Oh and if you are a women your weak. And if your a Demi-human your much better than a human except if you get to high level, which nobody ever does. And loads of it is needlessly racist.

Newer versions are rubbish because you actively have to try to die and all the monsters have so many hit points they take ages to die without being challenging. And most adventures are just rooms of monsters that attack you. Also, the only way you were expected to play is to walk through a dungeon fighting stronger things*

3/3.5 D&D was rubbish with its 5 billion character options that are mostly shite, its monster stats that are 5 pages long, it’s pointless being anything other than a spell-caster, you spend 3 hours trying to work out how to move your character.

4e was rubbish because nobody wanted to play it and you needed an app to make the character.

5th edition just gives up trying to make sense, has no rules for exploring, doesn’t tell you how to make an adventure, the absolute worst official adventures.  And new 5th edition doubles down on that.

And the Tomb of Horrors. Absolutely the worst type of DMs are trying to beat the Players, let’s cheat to make sure your spells don’t work, kind of bullshit design. Utterly rubbish so let’s rerelease it every 5 years.

Still owlbears are pretty good.

* the dungeon may be in fact a house, city, castle or even a forest but it’s basically all just a dungeon. Ok 4th edition was meant to be different I think, but I never played it at high level.