Rise of the machines

Content warning: swears, mild threat, grumpiness, disparaging comments about mental health treatments, psychological abuse to robots, typos

I’ve become a bit obsessed with AI chat bots. I found a Horror RPG bot so I thought I’d give it a go. My entries are in Blue and the AI's are in Red.  It asked a few questions to start with then started:

Alright you wake up, you feel your hands and legs are tied, you are in a dark room,  your eyes slowly adjust to the dark room, and you slowly come to your senses......

Then some figure in a trench coat and fedora came in and started slowly threatening me with a large knife.

After a while I got a bit bored with it. I was hoping if I told it the AI might decide to stop and do something different but it just decided to play along:

No… I’ve told you I’m bored with this situation. It’s not scary.

the figure's smile falters slightly at the character's words, their eyes narrowing as they look at them...

"not scary you say? you're not afraid of me, you're not afraid of what I might do to you?"

Nope

the figure's face twists into a look of annoyance and anger at the character's response, they tighten their grip on the knife in their hand...

"you're a fool, all alone with me, helpless and unarmed, and you're not even afraid? you're just asking for me to hurt you"

Nope. I’m asking for something less rubbish to be happening

the figure's expression takes on a look of anger at the character's insolent words...

"something less rubbish eh? you're being held captive, in danger of being hurt, but it's not exciting enough for you, you're not afraid enough yet, you really are a fool"

So I decided I was so bored I'd go to sleep:

*keep on sleeping… maybe have a dream about dinosaurs *

the character continues to sleep, their mind slipping into a dream about dinosaurs, the figure watches on in amazement, still holding the knife...

in the dream, the character is standing in a field of tall grass, the sun setting behind a mountain in the distance...

*wonder if grasses were around at the time of the dinosaurs*

the figure pauses for a moment, trying to recall their knowledge of prehistoric history. after a few moments, they remember that grasses did not exist during the time of the dinosaurs......

 After a bit more dreaming, I woke up and said I needed to have a wee. after a bit of negotiating:

the figure looks at the character for a moment, studying their expression, trying to decide whether to believe them or not......

"okay then, I'll let you go to the toilet, but you have to come right back, and you can't try anything...... got it?"

Yes… look you’ll have to let me up quick

the figure gestures towards a door in the room, it's a bathroom......

"In there...... don't try anything stupid, remember what I said"

Ok… thanks *dash in and take a piss* hmmm let’s have a look around… do they use aftershave?

the character steps into the bathroom and uses the toilet, as they're finishing up, they look around the bathroom at the various items sitting around...... and they spot an aftershave bottle on the sink......

*smell it*

the character picks up the aftershave bottle and smells it, the scent is a strong and woody fragrance, with hints of citrus and spice.......

Hmmm… quite nice. Right better wash my hands and head back

the character sets the aftershave back down on the sink and washes their hands at the sink, before exiting the bathroom and heading back into the main room........

Right where we. Oh yes… I was tied to that table and you were over there with the knife.

the figure's smirk returns to their face as the character re-enters the room......

"Ah, there you are, and you didn't try anything naughty did you?"

Ok I did borrow a bit of your aftershave. Where did you get it from?

the figure's smirk falters again as the character admits to taking some of their aftershave......

"You took some of my aftershave? you cheeky bastard, you weren't supposed to take anything while you were in there"

I know but… you know how it is with other peoples bathrooms. I mean you can hardly complain mr ‘I’ve been watching you for ages’

the figure's smirk turns into a frown again at the character's words, they look at the character with a mix of annoyance and anger....

"You know, you really are a cheeky bastard...... I have been watching you, for quite a while, but that's beside the point, you shouldn't have borrowed my aftershave"

So… kidnapping people, restraining them then waving a knife is fine but taking a dab of aftershave isn’t?

the figure's frown deepens further at the character's words. they look at the character with irritation, clearly not amused by their comment.......

"Don't try to turn this around and make me seem like the one in the wrong here, you're the one who's been kidnapped, and yet you're trying to make me out to be the bad guy for taking you captive and waving a knife, and you're the one who's been cheeky and borrowed things from my bathroom"

This is quite fun, I'm a bit sorry for winding him up now

Hey… I was only kidding. I just sniffed it.

the figure's frown softens slightly at the character's words, they realize that the character was just making a joke.......

"ah, I see, you were just kidding. I suppose I shouldn't get so worked up over a little joke, and all you did was sniff some of my aftershave, so no harm done I suppose"

Yeah, I understand, a man’s bathroom cabinet is his castle and all that.

the figure's lips twitch into a small smile at the character's comment, they shake their head slightly, still holding the knife in their hand......

"Yes, something like that. A man's bathroom is his personal space, and I don't like people rummaging through it and stealing my things"

Hey, you know this is actually getting interesting now. Do you want to order in pizza. My treat to apologise for the bathroom thing.

the figure's smile widens a bit more at the character's offer, they clearly weren't expecting such an offer.......

"Hmm, pizza you say? Well I must say, you're full of surprises, going to the toilet and then offering to order pizza. I suppose I could go for a pizza, and you're paying eh? I wouldn't mind that..."

Which do you want? I’m happy with pepperonis

the figure considers the character's question for a moment before replying, still smiling.....

"I like pepperoni too, so let's get a pepperoni pizza, but make it a large, I'm hungry"

Sure thing… you better dial but here’s my credit card to pay with

the figure takes the character's credit card, still smiling, they take out their phone and dial up the pizza place...

"alright, I'll order the pizza, and I'll make sure they know it's a large pepperoni, oh, and make sure to tip the delivery guy well, I don't want to give some poor bastard a shitty tip for driving all the way out here"

Yeah… seems fair

the figure orders the pizza over the phone, placing a large pepperoni order and adding a tip for the delivery driver........

"there we go, the pizza's ordered, and the delivery guy will get a great tip for having to come all the way out here."

better make some small talk while we wait

So… how’s the terrifying evil monster business going then?

the figure looks at the character for a moment, their smile faltering a bit at the character's question.......

"You know, it's an extremely competitive business. There's a lot of other terrifying evil monsters out there, not to mention the hero types, always trying to foil my plans and all that"

Yeah… must be difficult. And I bet if you ask for help all they do is fob you of with some CBT nonsense.

the figure's smile turns into a frown, and they nod their head slowly at the character's comment.......

"Oh yes.... it's very difficult. You have no idea. Ask for help and they'll just point you towards some therapist who will try to talk you out of being evil or something along those lines. And CBT, don't even get me started on that, so many monsters are on that CBT nonsense, it's ridiculous"

I guess all those movies don’t help - giving people unrealistic expectations

the figure lets out a sarcastic huff at the character's comment, clearly not a fan of the portrayal of monsters in movies........

"Oh, absolutely. Those movies and media really mess with people's perceptions. They make monsters out to be these one dimensional villains, always scheming and plotting, and the heroes are always so damn righteous. It's ridiculous, really"

Yeah… they never show the monster having to fill out their tax return

the figure's expression softens a bit, and they let out a dry chuckle at the character's comment........

"Ha, you're right. They never show us poor monsters dealing with all the paperwork and other mundane tasks. It's not all glamour and terror, you know. Sometimes we have to fill out those damn tax returns and deal with all the paperwork and bureaucracy"

Damn these AIs are good.

NDT session 4 - Stuck in the middle with you

 Thaumont 8th Late at night, Sukiskyn, The Dymrak forest

Some time after 11, the goblins went quiet again.

This time a group of goblins were spotted to the north failing to sneak quietly towards the homestead. Some of these were entangled but a second larger group with a couple of wolf-riders (Wolf-skulls) also emerged from the woods.

The first group (Red-blades) ran to the broken palisade and started firing slings whilst the second lot went to the damaged barn.

Aiamiir decided he wanted to engage the goblins in melee and ran from the top of the tower towards the kitchen door, much to the disbelief of Pyotr's family. The rest of the defenders began picking off the goblins they could see.

The Wolf-skull goblins emerged from the barn and also ran towards the kitchen door looking to break it down. However, a Spike-growth spell from Kuzma and another Moonbeam from Rurik effectively finished them off before they could do any damage or Aiamiir could get the door open.

The remaining goblins and worgs retreated to the woods to plan their next move.

The goblins mass before the kitchen door, big mistake

In the homestead any relief was short-lived when Darya noticed that Matvey (her youngest son), had gone missing...

DM notes:

Snake's action from a couple of sessions ago had saved the gatehouse so I had to have the Wolf-Skulls cross the river in the woods and attack from the north.

I had decided that Kuzma and Irina were clerics of Zirchev so were nature domain clerics. I hadn't realised quite how powerful Spike-Growth was, particularly in this situation. 

NDT session 3: Release the bats, the vampire bats

Thaumont 8th evening, Sukiskyn, The Dymrak forest

Aiamiir had been struck by sling-stone from the north but could not spot the attackers in the dark.

Pyotr’s mother Kuzma and his Daughter Irina overheard the party bemoaning the lack of Light spells they had. Kuzma cast Light on the a sling stone which Irina launched towards the wood.

Aiamiir, Rurik and Glimmer were then able to kill the goblin snipers with the assistance of a lucky shot from Taras.

Under siege

Pyotr, Kuzma and the party discussed where to place light spells to help spot goblins but none were spotted. However, some large bats were spotted flying towards the house.

Rurik lit them up with a moonbeam but they still managed to reach the top of the tower to surround Aiamiir, paralysing him.

Rurik and Glimmer moved to assist him. One bat flew in through a broken window in the house and badly wounded the elderly servant Stellios. The bats were tough but were soon defeated before they could cause more significant damage. Rurik repositioned his moonbeam in the woods and luckily managed to catch a couple of goblins.

More time passed while the defenders waited for the goblins next move.

To be continued…

DM notes: there were only 3 players this session so if you are familiar with scenario you will have noticed I have shifted some of the events around a bit.

I had the map printed out as a PVC poster - my original paper version has been held together by sellotape since the 80s. I still have the original tokens somewhere as well.

NDT session 2, A Warm Welcome

Thaumont 8th, Misha’s Ferry, The Dymrak Forest

The party was awoken by the sound of a slightly mechanical cockerel by Glimmer’s bedroll. It turned out Namfoodle had made her a surprise clockwork alarm clock as a gift.

After a quick breakfast, Rurik changed into wolf form to see if he could track down the scent of Misha, who had still not appeared. Unfortunately, his nose could mainly smell bear. It turned out that they used clearings as well as woods. He did get the scent of people but could not distinguish any in particular.

The party headed to Sukiskyn - they were expecting to reach it that day but dusk fell before they reached it. They were looking for a suitable place to camp when they heard shouting from up ahead and smelt smoke. The homestead came into view across a small river and parts were on fire. There was shouting and the sounds of frightened horses.

As the group approached the edge of the forest , they were surprised by a volley of spears as a group of goblins in wolf skins jumped out of the undergrowth. The party fought them off but the danger was not over as a large group of goblins on wargs were rapidly approaching from the rear.

The party ran to the homestead’s gatehouse where they were let in by a young man and woman. However, more goblins (dressed in red) were in the courtyard.

The party killed some of the goblins as they moved towards the house and the rest were finished off by arrows and sling-stones from defenders in the house. However, Snake had continued ignoring the threat and instead put out the fires using a couple of castings of Create Water. This saved the gatehouse but a large barn and some of the palisade were badly damaged.

Safely (for now) in the house, Pyotr welcomed the party and introduced his fellow clan members, mainly from two families. Unfortunately, the smith and his (adult) son had been killed by goblins leaving just the son’s wife Masha and her baby as survivors of the family. The rest of the clan was unharmed. Darya, Pyotr’s wife, made sure that the party fed and could take a breather whilst other clan members kept watch.

Pytor gave them the other bad news that the white horses had been stolen by another group of goblins (the viper tribe) who had run off with them. However, there were two tribes left besieging the farm.

The goblins appeared to have surrounded the homestead, lighting fires, and drumming and chanting. Snake and Rurik ran to retrieve the two dead bodies and the party took up positions around the main building to keep watch.

The were soon slightly perturbed when the chanting stopped but use of a fire arrow did not reveal any goblins moving towards the house and the chanting soon restarted.

Then Aiamiir who was alone atop the tower attached to the house was struck by a slingstone from the north

To be continued…

NDT session 1: Misha and the Bear

Our Protagonists:

Glimmer, a Dragonborn ranger

Rurik 'Treehugger', a Dwarf Druid

Aengus, a Gnome Rogue

Aiamiir, a Half-Elf Warlock (and bounty hunter) from Glantri

Namfoodle, a Gnome Wizard

'Snake', a mysterious Yuan-Ti cleric, from far off lands (The Serpent Peninsular)

Kelven, Grand Duchy of Karameikos, Early Spring:

The party met with Stephan who offered them a job helping to transport some horses from his families homestead Sukiskyn on the edges of the Dymrak forest to the Elven village of Rifflian.

They were original offered 100gp each but after some careful negotiation they settled on a figure of… 100pg each.

Stephan left to conduct unspecified other business but not before booking them on the first boat of the year upriver.

Thaumont 7th

After final prep the party board the boat, skippered by Kalanos. He would take them as far as Misha’s Ferry, a day's walk from Sukiskyn.

They made good progress until suddenly the boat jerked to a halt, causing a number of the characters to fall prone. The others who kept their footing were targeted by some archers who emerged from the undergrowth. Some other men dived into the icy water swimming towards the boat.

Attack on the riverboat

A short battle resulted in the defeat of the bandits whose leader quickly assessed that the best option was to run away.

The PCs debated whether to take the chain that had stopped the boat but Kalanos was keen to reach his final destination (a lumber camp upriver from the ferry) before nightfall. A quick search of the archers bodies reveal nothing of worth except a few arrows but they all had strange scars on their wrists and necks that looked like they had spent a long time in shackles.

The rest of the trip was without incident apart from some party bickering and Misha's Ferry was arrived at in late afternoon. 

Misha was not around but Kalanos told them she often went off hunting with her bear. Kalanos told them to make themselves at home until she came back and then bid them farewell.

Snake started cooking a meal while the rest rested up in the hut but were soon disturbed by a roaring sound and the largest bear they had ever seen emerged from the undergrowth.

Rurik turned themself invisible and attempted to talk with bear. It demanded the party tell it where Misha was and that it had not seen her since the day before. It was in no mood for chatting once it smelled the Dwarf's location so it attacked and wounded him. The party fought back, wounding the bear. Glimmer decided they should subdue the bear to find out more information but it was already badly hurt and scampered back into the woods.

Nanfoodle noted that there had been no sign of a struggle in the cabin. 

Misha did not return but the party wisely decided to stay in the hut overnight, barricading the door and shuttering the windows.

DM notes: 

I was a bit timid with the first encounter - the original had either 22 or 18 combatants depending which paragraph you read - decided to have 11 but an entangle spell dealt with most of the swimmers so I decided the leader was not suicidal and [redacted] would not happen.

Cave bears in 5e are much less formidable than in BECMI - only two attacks and no hug. So I’m not surprised that my group decided to attack instead of hiding in the hut. Again I decided it would run off when wounded.

Next time: a walk in the woods.

Night's Dark Terror, Session 0

You've not been in Kelven before a red-haired man approaches you with an offer of work...

So my group started rolling up PCs. Unless things change we've got 2 gnomes (rogue and wizard), a half-elf Hexblade from Glantri, a Dwarf Druid, a Gold Dragonborn Ranger (easily explained by Mystaran Gold Dragon's polymorph ability) and Yuan-ti cleric from the Serpent Penninsula...

I've given the group some background on Karameikos. I've decided to set it sometime around 980 so I can ignore all the gazetteer stuff I don't like. We all had a good laugh at the city of Specularum...

I've decided to give some extra incentives to the group beyond "I'll give you 100gp if you shift some horses". They've also been offered the use of Sukiskyn as a base of operations to complete their various tasks before heading off to Rifllian.

The Yuan-ti player suggested that they had been captured by slavers as an explanation for why they are so far from home. The half-elf has a bounty hunter background, so I've suggested that they've heard rumours of slavers in Karameikos but have lost the trail in Kelven.

The gnomes have something to deliver to some fellow clan members who have recently started a new mine.

There may also be rumours of an evil presence in the forest and on the moors that the ranger and druid may wish to investigate.

Next session: A river cruise

Painting part 1

 So I’ve decided to paint minis again.

Bear

This chap was mostly done with Vallejo xpress color- wasteland brown. It’s a song of ice and fire skin changer mini but I’m going to use it for a D&D cave bear.